The Hope Project.

 

As I put this site together and made a list of subjects for blog topics, I struggled with what to lead with in this space.  Simultaneously, I‘ve been working on finishing up a project started over a year ago.  So it seems logical finishing the project should be the first topic.

I have struggled with depression throughout the course of my lifetime.  Much of it is seasonal and I’ve grown the ability to anticipate and manage much of it.  When Fall comes, the days get shorter and the thoughts darker.  There’s a different tone to the pictures I take and think about.  Fall 2018 was no different and I began to ramp up my self help rituals and watched the calendar until the days lingered longer.  Some of the images in my mind during that season stuck with me.  Likewise, images from another story have been with me for several years now.  The time for that project came and went long ago, but elements of the imagery remained, looking for a new venue.  Combined together, these images from two different inspirations easily fit together as a narrative. 

Originally the story was to have a dark, ambiguous ending.  Model casting changed the story line.  I have been shooting with a couple friends as models for a several years now and I have made images with each that I am proud of.  This prior work always put each in a flattering light.  This new project would be anything but that.  I wasn’t sure my friends were going to be receptive to playing a part in a story that was far from glamorous. 

One of my friends, Samantha, had a friend that would be open to participating and that’s where Briley came in.  She was perfect.  But that left Sam outside the process, leaving me feeling badly.  As I thought of how to include her, the story line changed, the ending found its hope.  Instead of one character there were two.  One who was suffering and one who was nurturing.  Sam is the nurturing type, a natural fit. 

The three of us shot the majority of the images in March 2019.  A few weeks later, Briley and I shot a few more.  One forgotten the first time and another which added additional depth to the project.  We enjoyed doing the project.  Each of us have had our struggles and it was cathartic to convey them with each other through this experience.   

The images were processed and sat in a Smugmug gallery as I tried to figure out what to do with them.  I had shared them with a handful of people having artistic sensibilities that I respected.  They were supportive and enthusiastic, so I knew I should do something eventually.  Months became seasons and then a year.  One day I noticed this “Slideshow” tab in Lightroom and figured it was time to experiment with something new.  My wife, Jenny, suggested that dubbing music over the video would make it more powerful.  I found something that worked pretty well on Hooksounds and the work is now complete.

If you have previously struggled with thoughts of self harm or are missing a loved one who fell victim, please use discretion before deciding to view the video.

What I hope viewers take away…If you are struggling, you are not alone.  If you are not struggling, other people, ones you may care about could be.  Everyday … TODAY is always a good time to let people know they are valued and appreciated.  It may make the difference for them.

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